For the last several years of my life I have subjected myself to a numbers game that everyone is taking part in.

I love to write, but I have noticed a depressing result of publishing on existing platforms and there is a singular reason for why I left behind a million followers:

Analytics.

Every single platform, Medium, Tumblr, Wordpress, Facebook, and Twitter all have some form of analytical value that they append to writing. Likes, comments, reads, views, recommends, shares, and more are the epicenter of the content that is published.

A small subset of people create the content, but the honest truth is that the epicenter of the products and platforms are the analytics that are created from that content. I want to write to be an individual for my own personal informational purposes. If other people learn and get an emotional response or attachment then that is great, but I don't want to associate a number to the content. If I were to write a post, and I see that it doesn't do as well as some of my other writings then I will naturally correct the rest of my writing to fit into the paradigm of my more popular posts. I don't want to A/B test my writing to match the audience. I want to write to match my thoughts.

I could write these all privately and never worry about them, but the issue with a private journal is that you can't learn or grow from them. You can't subject yourself to finding people who have similar thoughts. I write for myself, but to also help myself find like minded people or to help those that are struggling with similar thoughts and want to see into someone else's mind and be affirmed.

Having thoughts that you believe you are alone in is a punishment onto itself. It's putting yourself into a cage of self deprivation that is constantly demoralizing and detrimental to your mental health. I don't know if anyone will learn from my thoughts, but I am in hopes of it. If there is even a chance of helping someone feel more comfortable with themselves that is a success. I want my thoughts to be free and uncensored, but I also want others to be able to read them not for my own personal ego, but to help them realize who they are.

I have some unconventional thoughts about myself and the world around us, I know I'm not alone in any of them — but some people do and I want to help. Posting my thoughts to larger platforms filters and censors my thoughts by forcing myself into an A/B test cage. I don't want to do that.

Appending analytical value to content is antithetical to the point of content.

Content is meant to be free, and meant to help others and ourselves.

This won't be the last time I write about this, I think about this a lot.